"Ta Get Some Milk n Coookies."

RIP.
man, this is my favorite aHA!

for your enjoyment...

I found these following short essays to be EXCELLENT reads. scan through & see which you'd take the time out to read, or, if you have the time, read them all. they're all marvelous. the first one is my absolute favorite. & of course, the 3rd one is charming.

1. America built a prison and put the world on Death Row.
by John Kaminski
My life is like a cage of pain. Oh, I'm healthy enough for my age, though I eat too much junk and don't exercise enough. I talk to the most brilliant people, caring people, the ones most aghast at the way the world has become a slick cistern of vicious lies, where the truth is what powerful men say it is, and the old values like honor and sacrifice are laughed at by teenage boys boogie boarding in the surf and trying to figure out a way to live their lives without working. In this still warm November sunshine, trudging aimlessly along a pristine beach, amid shorebirds scurrying for their next meal, I feel like I am on Death Row.
Of course I am embarrassed to say this, with my easy life and available contentment all around me. I am shamed by men like Ernst Zundel, who languishes in his tiny prison cell in Canada, abused by callous guards and corrupt judges, who can speak of the noble nature of mankind and how it is time to organize that urge and rise up against the maniacs who enslave us with their jingoistic doublespeak. How can he, who has so little, see so much freedom, and how can I, who have so much, feel so imprisoned?
Sometimes I imagine I am living the life of the world, and try my darnedest to see where it is going, where things are headed. I haven't seen any dolphins this year, all year. Used to be, last year and before, I'd see them everytime I looked out to sea. But red tide's been in all summer. Shouldn't swim in it. Get a sore throat. But usually it doesn't smell like it sometimes does, when it makes you cough. The blight doesn't keep the tourists away. They're happy enough to have escaped the snows of New Jersey. But it miss my dolphins. It's not a good sign.
And I miss other things, too. Yes, of course that girl who lit my life but insisted I was lying. That's probably a lump of coal that will never leave my throat. But I miss my country, too, the one I was taught to believe meant liberty and justice for all. What a joke that was, when you finally get around to reading how George Washington slaughtered Indians in Ohio or American soldiers went around executing peasants in Vietnam without anybody ever hearing about it until 40 years later.
Of course, of course, and about American soldiers murdering innocent families in Iraq. Operation Iraqi Freedom, right? Freedom from life, is what.
I miss my country, the one I was taught I had. I think soon too I will miss my planet, given the condition of the fractured ionosphere, the particulated air, the poisoned oceans, and the toxic soil. (A friend put her hands in her garden in a well-heeled Sarasota subdivision recently and came out with chemical burns that took weeks to heel.) This is not to even mention the radioactivity being spread around the planet. You know. It's in the bullets. Oh yes, and also in the sperm of the soldiers who come home in one piece.
In the bright sunshine, dimmed somewhat by those curious chemtrails in the sky, I feel like I am on Death Row. And it's more than the doctrinaire existential dilemma of turning 59. Death from old age would be a comfort to look forward to. It's just that more and more I feel hope is being systematically removed from the world. That a great extermination is about to take place. And, through my inattention to things economic and my willingness to speak about my dreams, I am in the lead phalanx on America's inexorable death march toward Camp Ashcroft.
Others I talk to share my malaise. I hope they have more food in their cupboards than I do. But they too will face this moment.
It was compelling to read the other day of the interview in Cigar Aficionado magazine of retired Gen. Tommy Franks saying one more terrorist attack in this country and all Constitutional guarantees will be terminated. It is one of the great satisfactions of my life that ten minutes after the so-called terrorist attacks of 9/11 I exclaimed, "This was an inside job!" It's nice to have been proven right, even though a majority of Americans have yet to catch up with the obvious evidence.
Looking forward to that first Red Alert, where nobody will be allowed to leave their homes, and the military will come around, checking out everybody, house by house, no doubt dragging a few away kicking and screaming. Or, maybe they'll sedate you on the spot.
It was somewhat reassuring today to read a letter from a Wyoming newspaper stating that anybody who would work as hard to prevent an investigation into a crime obviously had something to do with the crime itself. This is a revelation that is slowly dawning on all Americans: that all those people in New York and Washington were murdered, not by Arab terrorists, but by rich businessman and contemptuous bankers, who are all still profiting from the business of mass death.
Yet the realization comes too slow, too late. Not one politician dares even whisper the sentiment. OK, LaRouche.
I am reading increasing signs that the bottom is about to drop out of the American dollar. They're talking bread lines in '04. That will be a great campaign slogan for all those disgusting Democrats who steadfastly refuse to discuss the real issues that are destroying America and the world right before our eyes.
In the meantime, with freedom and the health of the planet precariously hanging in the balance, the needless killing continues: not just in Iraq and Afghanistan, in the Philippines and the Congo ... you know the list - it's long. The needless killing also continues here at home. Did you know that deaths from reactions to properly taken medicines exceeds the totals for auto accidents and cancer? Check out those new designer drug ads on TV and imagine how many extra people they're killing. I love that story about how the death rate goes down when doctors go on strike.
That's the place America has come to, and Americans deserve it, too, because of their sheer, selfish inattention to what has been happening, to what has been done in their names. And as with the extermination of 60 million native Americans that has served as the models for genocides by both Stalin and Sharon, Americans don't really care about who gets killed as long as those sale prices stay low.
It's a sunny day. I feel like I'm on Death Row. I feel like the Earth is on Death Row, and America, George W. Bush in particular, is the executioner.
It feels like the other shoe is about to fall. Will it be an environmental catastrophe, the bursting of the Earth's atmospheric bubble by America's satanic tinkering with the ionosphere, or the collective poison of chloroflourocarbons (or was it fluorochlorocarbons?) denuding our protection from the sun's potentially deadly rays?
Will it be from some designer disease like AIDS or SARS or Ebola suddenly lurching out of control as the American government continues to insist it is tinkering with these poxes only for defensive purposes?
Will it be chemtrails to finally choke the life out of us, or that government-issued bronchitis that everybody seems to have right now? Or will we all die of thirst when all the water supplies are finally privatized and firmly controlled by multinational corporations? Who will make the decision on who will drink and who will not?
Perhaps some new electromagnetic pulse weapon to blow our brains out through our ears in a single, massive moment?
Will we be blown to bits by a suitcase nuke planted by the Mossad and blamed on al-Qaeda? Does everybody know yet that all these explosions all over the world are being carried out by the CIA/Mossad operation known as al-Qaeda? And speaking of that, have you heard anything new out of the official government investigation into 9/11? No, I didn't think so.
Will we be beaten to death, or at least seriously injured like they were on the streets of Miami last week for simply trying to express their First Amendment rights (oops, sorry, we no longer have Constitutional guaranteees) and protest the continuing destruction of the American economy?
Will we be spirited away in the middle of the night for pointing out that all those peasants murdered in Afghanistan and Iraq lost their lives for reasons that were demonstrably untrue? Or that the U.S. government prosecutes poor people for misdemeanors committed trying to stay alive, but doesn't prosecute rich people who kill millions and steal millions? That is truly American justice, and maybe should be codified in the Patriot Act. Hell, maybe it already has been.
Will it be the food that will get us, or the Diet Coke? Or will it be our own children who will kill us, recently arrived back from "police action" in Iraq and joining our local constabulary, and eventually treating their own families just like they did those hapless folks in Iraq?
Or will it be starvation, the worst way of all to go. Many already face this problem; many more are sure to in the next few months when prices rise like they did in Argentina and the money is suddenly worth next to nothing.
The other shoe. It's about to drop. The giant leather sole of a combat boot, about to press down on our very own faces. Be sure and listen carefully when it does, when you see the last light of day snuffed out by the giant jackboot of corporate America smashing down on your face. You will hear "The Star Spangled Banner" playing smartly in the background.
This is what the storied history of America has evolved into. Liberty and justice are gone, and the phrase "under God" is a meaningless campaign slogan to anesthetize churchgoers who refuse to think or listen. America's penchant for building prisons is now a worldwide operation. There is no one to stop it ... except you. What chance do we have? We are all on Death Row.
Except for a certain, chosen few - those who are willing to lie, cheat, steal and kill, and take the money for doing it - we are all Palestinians now.



2. Why Don't They Love Us Any More?
By Michael Shoen
I've traveled to Germany every summer for the past 31 years. And German friends or relatives have visited me in America for every one of those years. I lay here at night, in America, listening to the Harleys (sans mufflers) rumble and bark down the boulevard. That doesn't happen in Germany. The Germans require mufflers, even on Harleys.
The Germans don't accept that level of noise aggression. It's boring in Germany. Coffee klatches, polite conversations with the baker, with the neighbor and with relatives: "Soft butter is easier to spread than hard butter;" and "The pickles with salt are better than the pickles with sugar." In America I grab my food and run. Why waste time talking?
But in America violence is off the chart: "Crime spoils great outdoors" is today's headline: road rage, folks packing pistols, intentionally-offensive boom boxes, violent films, music and games. And real blood: the largest prison population in the Western World. Lots of family abuse, celebrity violence and bizarre murders. And unlimited violence through the opiate of our choice, television.
German television reminds me of America's television in the 50's-- happy endings, with cornball programs like Lawrence Welk. German cities are awash with immigrants--Turks, Poles and Muslims. Summer traffic jams reach 40-miles in length. But no road rage. The train stations are jammed and hot, but people remain polite and seem happy.
Germany has no armaments industry to speak of, unlike my own country. The World knocks on America's door to purchase the tools of State murder. Germany exports no wars: no Granada, no Panama, Nicaragua, Lebanon, Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, East Timor, Vietnam, Cambodia or Chile. No Bay of Pigs. No dead Kennedy's. No secret 35,000-man CIA Laotian army. No clandestine 50,000-man Contra army. No Columbian contract-paramilitary "drug" forces. And no profound domestic drug problem.
But the Germans do drink. Then, after their soccer games, they throw up in the train stations. Heck, in Bavaria, they serve 10- year-old kids Hafeweizen warm beer. That is good beer.
Germany is supposed to be a bad country, full of Nazis, the major oppressors of the world. I thought that ended about 60 years ago. Who has taken their place? Today, who has the "master race" mentality to justify oppression of weak and backward nations? Which country is the most militaristic, the largest overt forces and the most secretive and murderous covert forces? Not Germany.
I don't even know if Germany has a secret police. They must have one. I know the name of our secret police-- the CIA, FBI, DHS and other federal three-letters. We even have generic categories for our modern-day NKVDs..."covert ops," "special forces," and "rapid deployment forces." Who directs all this violence? In 1963, Allen Dulles, the former director of the CIA, described the Soviet KGB: "[A] multi-purpose, clandestine arm of power... more than an intelligence or counterintelligence organization. It is an instrument for subversion, manipulation and violence, for the secret intervention in the affairs of other countries." Whom does this describe today?
In Germany I live in a town of about 20,000 souls. There are two churches with a Sunday attendance total of maybe 200. In America we can get those numbers from a town of 800 souls. What is going on?
All the German small talk--about the difference between hard and soft butter--is just a cover. Small talk is just a mechanism to include everyone, yet offend no one, to connect at a lowest common denominator. It is an attempt to insure that no one is left behind. The Germans seem committed to leaving no one behind. Their socialized medicine is quite imperfect, but it is available to everyone, even to the unwashed Turks.
The Germans don't talk religion, but they seem to be awfully good to people, including the Turks, the Muslims and the many Eastern European refugees whom the United States has refused to help. The Germans don't parrot religious slogans like Americans ("Jesus is my personal Lord and Savior"), but they don't export death either.
The Germans have no overwhelming, mega-entertainment industry drenched in violence to foist on the rest of this suffering world. The Germans are flat boring. Here, in Amerika, we are not so boring. We have it all. We have the freedom to make a big stink about religion and, at the same time, the freedom to cheer our troops as they kill people who are not of the "master race," from afar, with the latest in high tech. We have the freedom to ignore our government's secret wars and our covert ops that arm terrorists, support anti-democratic regimes and kill literally millions of inferior peoples. We have the freedom to do whatever we want and, should our conscience ever be disturbed, we have the freedom to simply turn off the TV. In fact, the Media has made even this unnecessary by expunging the gruesome details themselves, on their own initiative. We want our entertainment to be exciting, but not so exciting as to be scary. The Germans are content with boring.
In Amerika, being religious means attending church and talking about it. In this sense, the Germans aren't religious. But they do seem to be following the instructions of Christ. Whereas we seem to be more interested in entertainment - - which includes religion. The Germans know that entertainment can get out of hand. They learned that, about 60 years ago.


3.Doom & Delusion in the Shadow of Rome.
by BZB & Irregular Unit 005/Aloha Allies & Intelligensia
What if, as in a B-grade horror movie, everything and everyone around you had been replaced by alien facsimiles which appear on the surface as normal, carrying on business as usual, while within the inner sanctum of the nation lurks a sinister and murderous plot to control the world and infect everyone with an evil virus?
This is how many long-time activists in America are seeing their situation, surrounded by an onslaught of neofascism fueled by ignorance and hate, led by a thoroughly corrupted cabal of corporate criminals toward a toxic and infected future. Thanks in large part to the B-grade media managers who have seized the reigns of reporting with the help of the CIA, we are inundated with self-congratulatory popularity polls and advertisements for war machinery, while unprecedented scandals go unmentioned and uninvestigated.
It's as if our entire colonial experiment, known as "America" had been bought at an auction without our consent, as slaves were sold not so long ago. Unfortunately, the highest bidders happened to be the multinational arms manufacturers, oil companies, and drug pushers. Now, with the protection of the CIA, the NSA, the DIA, FBI, DEA, ATF, etc. and their neofascist "Homeland Security" Department which bundles them together, these extremely wealthy elitists feel they can get away with anything, kill as many people as they like and have their media paint it as heroism, take away an entire nation and replace it with profitable industrial dictatorship and call this "democracy." It would all be laughable if it weren't so deadly.
" I'm often asked why I left politics and went to Halliburton and I explain that I reached the point where I was mean-spirited, short-tempered and intolerant of those who disagreed with me and they said 'Hell, you'd make a great CEO', so I went to Texas and joined the private sector."
-- Dick Cheney, before The Institute of Petroleum in the U.K., 1999
Where is the outrage over the Enron money-laundering scandal? Where are the exposes of Halliburton and Dick Cheney's profits of millions of dollars from his office? Speaking of Cheney, where's he been hiding out lately? At the evil heart of the alien takeover like a cancer lies the tendrils of the 9-11 attacks, and anyone with an internet connection knows there is massive evidence that the CIA and the Bush regime had prior knowledge, that elements of the U.S. military colluded in the attacks, and that the leaders of the hijackings were U.S.-trained CIA operatives, as was Osama Bin Laden. Then you have the Rumsfeld-Reaganites' obsession and intimate relations with Saddam Hussein, arming him and grooming him.
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, this is only scratching the surface of the Bush regime's scandals, and the corruption of our military system of government. We haven't even addressed the bioweapons, pharmaceutical profiteering, the anthrax, the suppression of new energy technologies, and of course, the alien space war. Any one of these incredibly wicked scandals should be enough to run these Republicans out of town on a rail, yet we see the media continue to laud them with popularity polls and heroic sound bites rather than investigations. We see the population kept ignorant and overwhelmed while being fleeced and fattened, supporting our glorious troops as they drop more megaton bombs on impoverished nations.
How has America come to this opposite end of the evolution of the European state, to become a neofascist miltary dictatorship? After all, the founding fathers did everything in their power to prevent the President from having control over the War Department. Now we have a Presidency with unlimited capability to launch both overt and covert wars around the world, thanks to the CIA. Congress appears only peripherally involved in the Bush wars. And what about the deployment of the military against the nation's own citizens? Isn't this a violation of the U. S. Constitution which these politicians are sworn to uphold? And the Bill of Rights... no longer exists.
America has a great tradition of saying one thing while doing another, of going about business as usual while poor people die, of looking the other way and changing the subject. Think about the phrase "all men are created equal," for example-- one of the founding principles of the nation. At the time it was written, apparently it wasn't clear whether Africans were actually human. And the Indians... of course the savages were akin to animals. Here you find the beginning growth of the corruption, a nation built on the blood and enslaved sweat of "inferior" people. Genocide was necessary for America's vast territorial expansion, and in ever-more sinister ways, it has never stopped. The Iraqis and Afghanis are the new Indians you see, our great white leaders know what is best for them, and we will enforce their future at the point of a gun. That is, after we kill off all the "bad ones."
It IS a really bad B-grade western mutated into a wicked science fiction horrorshow. America has never fully come to terms with the genocide and slavery upon which this economy rests. I know this because I live in the occupied nation of Hawai'i and I see the military bombing and intimidating the Native Hawaiians even today, desecrating their most sacred places, dumping addictive drugs into their neighborhoods, keeping Kanaka Maoli impoverished, disempowered, and imprisoned in their own rich land. It's happening everywhere around the world, while the McPeople of America look the other way, cheering for the next round of bombing.
War has become the end game of the nationalist experiment known as "America." In his own idiotic way, George Bush Jr. is the perfect representative for this terminal stage of the colonial expansion, defended by the flustered but eloquent Tony Blair. The major problem for the Bush-Blair war front is that the world knows more about America than America knows about itself! You see, they've been watching and analyzing our psychology, our TV, our movies, our media, our propaganda. American dissidents like Noam Chomsky may not have a voice in the United States, but they are widely read in France and India. More Russians know who Leonard Peltier and Mumia Abu Jamal are than Americans do.
And those 75% approval ratings, which coincide exactly with the percentage of white people in America-- are carried out by the same corporate interests which divert the population's attention away from the Bush regime's war crimes and corporate scandals. No surprise there. It's like asking the passngers on a jetliner whether they'd like another round of drinks, without telling them it's been hijacked by heavily armed extremists. In fact, exactly like that.
"The biggest part of reporting the truth is the news agenda itself. What we choose to put on the air, what we think is a page one story, what our priorities are. I would not be fooled by the old myth that reporting is about objectivity. Deciding what is news is the most subjective of acts and it is probably the most important thing that we do." - Carl Bernstein
The time to tell the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, has come, ladies and gentlemen. Oil is an obsolete fuel, the Bush family are criminals who belong in prison, Republicans are supported in large part by white supremacists, fascists, and corporate criminals, and the war on terror is a supreme contradiction, since the agencies carrying it out are the exact ones who created the terror in the first place. The CIA must be held accountable before war crimes tribunals and constitutional Congressional hearings. Vast secret militaries do not democracies make.
Oh yes... and the alien-American invasion. Support the Disclosure Project: http://disclosureproject.org . It's all there for the world to witness, testimony and evidence that will hold up in the courts of the world. The U.S. secret military space war, the massive underground bases, the chemtrails, energy weapons, energy technologies which make most industrial engines obsolete.
Pull out a dollar bill. Take a look at the All-seeing Eye capstone and the dead white President. There is where the virus enters your brain, and why Bush's world war will continue. It's all about money, ain't a damn thing funny...
Stop the mad cowboy disease! Impeach Bush!
"The C.I.A. poses the ultimate threat to democracy, and should be dismantled for the good of the United States and the world."
-- U.S. Marine Colonel & C.I.A. Commander John Stockwell, 1988


4.The Black Dilemma of 2000
By Joe Williams III
We enter the first half of the 21st century worst off than we were in the last half of the 20th century.
I hate to bring this bad news, but Black leaders and politicians will not acknowledge this fact. They cannot, and will not, because to do so would mean that they, themselves, have failed their commitment to the Black masses. The main pitfall of the Black Liberation movement is a lack of comprehensive purpose. The most devastating aspect of the 20th century was the failure of the integrationist movement lead by the Civil Rights leaders. This movement's leadership was sucked up into mainstream America through money and power, while the masses of Black people were suffering from poverty, racism, and political as well as legal injustices.
The historical strength of the Black churches was silenced through governmental grants and poverty programs. Black elected officials became victims of political redistricting within majority African American areas. Many Black leaders found it hard to say "no" as corporate lobbies paraded day-in-and-day out of governmental councils waving brown money-laced envelops.
It was stated once by a corporate boss, that he could hire half of the working class to kill off the other half. This reality is not too far from the principles of capitalism and corporate America. They has definitely "purchased" many Blacks to contain and control the masses of our people.
However, not even the ever-powerful Black mass, the working class, is immune to criticism. The most powerful force within the Black community has not used it political of economical power in terms of its own liberation, or freedom. The Black mass spends billions of dollars of feel good consumer items. In essence, making every nationality on the face of the globe economically independent, but themselves. The Black masses shop, invest, and spend as thrill seekers. It is as if spending money with others is a form of pseudo-psychotherapy. However, even as I am being critical, I do realize that the totality of our freedom lies in the political education of our people. It is when the masses of Black people withdraw their economic buying power, or call for a general work stoppage; it is then, and only then, that our children will get a decent education, our youth will attend colleges instead of prisons, and our neighborhoods will be safe and prosperous.
We must also call into account WHAT type of spirituality that the Black preachers are feeding the people. A spiritual message must transform reality. A spiritual message must have as its foundation a revolutionary vision, a vision that pushes society into the future, not into the graveyard.
And to my friends, the Black radicals, shame on you. To stoop so low as to believe that sending intellectual e-mails to a few selected radicals will transform society. As if a progressive web-site can replace strikes, boycotts, and revolutionary theory. Shame on you.
And to all the bigots, who will e-mail me asking what do I propose as a solution to our crisis. Well, my answer is a simple one. Get involved with the transformation of the lives of Black people. It's simple, do something that will advance our condition as a people.

comme ci comme ça.

haven't blogged in a minute idk... just too lazy.
hmm... let's see, what do I have to say...

well first off, "how are you Peach?"
aww thanks for asking well i'm straight with a curve.
straight but I think I might want that chaser.

p.s. that was NOT a gay joke.
but yea i'm alright. my aunt & uncle went to France so I was home alone. but then I got scared. so then my Grandma came. & yea she's riiight here watching the Boondocks with me falling in & outta sleep & asking questions she asked me less than 10 min ago. [which is kinda sad + scary you know? kinda... worries me.]

moral of the story?
-don't ever be in a house alone for more than a day while high, it's scary.
& also- if you decide to do it ANYWAY, even though i'm warning you... don't call your grandmother. she'll actually come & make it hard for you to smoke & make you sleep in a different bed cus she thinks yours suits her back & make you cook & you know, other stuff you just don't wanna do.

I love my grandmother. I love her farfetched stories of things that could happen & shit too. alright story.= so I was wearing a fro this particular day, she says, "you know... I don't think they're gonna let you into college with that hair. you know people are crazy nowadays, they may think you hid weapons in there."

the majority of ppl born after 1990 have no idea what Chernobyl is? why did ppl forget about it? why isn't it still a discussion?
well since no one has an answer, then neither do I. but, I do know that the people of Chernobyl deserve to be thought of. even though, their existance is barely talked about. some died, some lived. those who lived either had visible damage or seemed fine...
but once they had kids you see they are not fine. idk what to say, or anything I'm really stuck on this cus when I heard about Chernobyl I was told in a way that was soooo standoff-ish & nonchalant I didn't think too much of it. but here I am oneday bored, & decided to do research. & I feel horrible. & if you're that desensitized to not feel a damn thing about these ppl... just keep in mind it can happen to your ppl anyday... nuclear power plants are everywhere.
pictures on link. play the video. watch the whole thing.

todayspictures.slate.com/inmotion/essay_chernobyl/

FUCK IT.

I just want to be able to smile & really mean every inch of it.

I never want to fake it. what does it take to get it?

imma try this out, everything negative that happens imma be like,
"FUCK IT". fuck it fuck it fuck it fuck it fuck it fuck it fuck it fuck it fuck it, smoke a fat ass blunt & FUCK IT.

imma take the high school proficiency test, not exactly a diploma but... FUCK IT.


weed. FUCK IT. I love you Marijuana you're the best.

you don't like me? umm... hell, FUCK IT!

lately I've been having dreams that seem like reality, & realities that seem like dreams... & I kinda have trouble separating the 2. maybe it's a sign of going crazy...

I'm reading W magazine right now... & still I wonder why I couldn't be one of the beautiful, exotic, tall girls that grace these pages. not even to be looked at as a person as beautiful, but to become a work of art. the world of art... & modeling... is a world so many people put down & I find it beautiful, & intriguing, it's all it's own artform, but I guess because people are willing to starve themselves for it it's wrong.
people do questionable things for their profession everyday, why is modeling put in the spot light?
I've noticed as I grow older, art becomes the more the enemy everyday.
art is only expression, so is it wrong for us to express? in today's society it is. they say we've progressed but, we're still all expected to not say certain things & I

tipsy off reason.

the coolest nigga... what?

i loooooooooooooooove Luuuuuuuuuupe. so happy i went to Springfest.

YOUNG MULA BABY!

hmm... females get your shit together. sometimes I'm fucking embarrassed to be one of you. truly embarassed. & if you're real about your shit I love the fuck outta you because apparently it's the hardest thing to do in this world. clearly.
get over yourself Hannah Montana number 895337! you're programmed. you're clones. & you need to get the fuck over yourself because,
"God don't like ugly, aint to happy bout pretty."

"turnt up"

practicing sobriety. feels great. must admit, I laughed at the girl on that rehab show that claimed that she was "addicted to weed"... until I tried to not smoke for a day & completely lost my marbles. Couldn't even last a day! Blah I was ashamed.last night, I guess I went thru my version of withdrawls. Nothing tasted right, I was irritable... my head hurt, my stomach hurt, I cried hysterically about... life in general I suppose... I found it very hard to cope w/ life last night, I barfed. I even cancelled movie night... & I NEVER cancel movie night. See! I was reaaally trippin'. But I guess I can't resist reality anymore... just gotta deal... today I was extremely chill... watched an Easter egg hunt for the kids & oh btw...
The tradition of decorating & hiding Easter eggs was originally a seasonal game between prostitutes & their clients... the whores would decorate their naked bodies in bright colors & hide, the men would search for them & "enjoy" the girls he found... just a random fact I thought I'd throw out there. yeeeee

"i used to know this woman who had the most beautiful tattoos on the top sides of both of her hands.
she was 43 years old and as far as i know had never yet been with a man.
but wait it's not that she wasn't attractive,
it was the way that she interacted.
she was aggresively passive to the point where she would've intimidated any mitt that ever tried to catch it.
& on the right hand she had a tattoo of a nude girl she claimed it is what God resembled.
but on the left she had a mirrored image of the same female and this one she explained looked like the devil.
& i remember once watching her touch her own breasts how the tattoos smiled as they stared down her stomach,
as if anticipating when they'd be allowed to caress the sweet flower that they both seemed to hunger.
now maybe i was high but it felt so right,
heaven and hell both take to this woman's womb.
it didn't make sense how she could commence touching herself with me wide awake in the same room.
but if i've learned anything in my years,
i learned i no longer believe in surprise.
but what happened next damn near stole my tears,
the tattoos came alive right in front of my eyes.
they both slowly stood up and climbed off her hands,
and showed me why she never took some time with a man.
they climbed deep inside of this woman's garden.
she closed her eyes and she gently bit her bottom lip.
i stepped i left and i don't regret leaving. and i'll never forget all the things i saw that evening.
a glimpse of religion.
a piece of coming closer to understanding more about what intrigues me most.
i didn't get turned on,
i just got turned.
i wasn't as aroused as i was concerned for each one of em i've hurt,
and every time i've been burned.
i've got a lot to teach but even more to learn.
so now i keep my eyes open hoping to take in all i can,
about women taking in all she can.
and for as long as i breathe i'll save seat in my memory for that woman with the tattooed hands.
there's good and evil in each individual fire, identifies needs and feeds our desires.
as long as we keep our spirit inspired,
she can bite her bottom lip all she wants."