"turnt up"

practicing sobriety. feels great. must admit, I laughed at the girl on that rehab show that claimed that she was "addicted to weed"... until I tried to not smoke for a day & completely lost my marbles. Couldn't even last a day! Blah I was ashamed.last night, I guess I went thru my version of withdrawls. Nothing tasted right, I was irritable... my head hurt, my stomach hurt, I cried hysterically about... life in general I suppose... I found it very hard to cope w/ life last night, I barfed. I even cancelled movie night... & I NEVER cancel movie night. See! I was reaaally trippin'. But I guess I can't resist reality anymore... just gotta deal... today I was extremely chill... watched an Easter egg hunt for the kids & oh btw...
The tradition of decorating & hiding Easter eggs was originally a seasonal game between prostitutes & their clients... the whores would decorate their naked bodies in bright colors & hide, the men would search for them & "enjoy" the girls he found... just a random fact I thought I'd throw out there. yeeeee

"i used to know this woman who had the most beautiful tattoos on the top sides of both of her hands.
she was 43 years old and as far as i know had never yet been with a man.
but wait it's not that she wasn't attractive,
it was the way that she interacted.
she was aggresively passive to the point where she would've intimidated any mitt that ever tried to catch it.
& on the right hand she had a tattoo of a nude girl she claimed it is what God resembled.
but on the left she had a mirrored image of the same female and this one she explained looked like the devil.
& i remember once watching her touch her own breasts how the tattoos smiled as they stared down her stomach,
as if anticipating when they'd be allowed to caress the sweet flower that they both seemed to hunger.
now maybe i was high but it felt so right,
heaven and hell both take to this woman's womb.
it didn't make sense how she could commence touching herself with me wide awake in the same room.
but if i've learned anything in my years,
i learned i no longer believe in surprise.
but what happened next damn near stole my tears,
the tattoos came alive right in front of my eyes.
they both slowly stood up and climbed off her hands,
and showed me why she never took some time with a man.
they climbed deep inside of this woman's garden.
she closed her eyes and she gently bit her bottom lip.
i stepped i left and i don't regret leaving. and i'll never forget all the things i saw that evening.
a glimpse of religion.
a piece of coming closer to understanding more about what intrigues me most.
i didn't get turned on,
i just got turned.
i wasn't as aroused as i was concerned for each one of em i've hurt,
and every time i've been burned.
i've got a lot to teach but even more to learn.
so now i keep my eyes open hoping to take in all i can,
about women taking in all she can.
and for as long as i breathe i'll save seat in my memory for that woman with the tattooed hands.
there's good and evil in each individual fire, identifies needs and feeds our desires.
as long as we keep our spirit inspired,
she can bite her bottom lip all she wants."